To Slam or Not to Slam...

…that is the question.

2005 would mark the 6th year in a row that I will make my appearance at a National Poetry Slam Competition as a Boston Slam Team member…that is if I can make it past another Slam Finals at the Lizard Lounge this Sunday.

Every year that has gone by, following my initial experience at the 2000 NPS in Providence RI, I am confronted with this question.
More like a dilemma.
Do I go out for another year? And if so, what am I really doing it for?
I’m honestly not even 100% sure that “slamming”
is something that I particularly enjoy doing.

Part of the process of surviving 5 years of it involves a lot of pushing aside the reality of the scenario---I step on stage armed with only a mike…prepared to be judged---scrutinized--- and vulnerable.
In this arena, the score matters. Time matters.
How aggressively you allow yourself to connect to an audience in a short period of time and them to your story…all of it matters.
And somehow this process parallels other scenarios
I have been confronted with in my life.

From K to college we’ve always been judged, evaluated and scored by individuals who may or may not have had any legitimate right to do any of the above.
But that’s life right? We all do it and are all victims of it---at our day jobs to our moments after hours. When I’m behind the counter wearing my CVS pharmacist smock---I can feel it-- people judge me every day.

So why should slamming poetry “boxing match style” be any different from an Open Mike Nite? Why are thousands of poets across the country drawn to the ring time and time again?
I suppose part of it could be the higher stakes.
The epic battles of Good and Evil…
The reputations built, the titles lost, the strategy, the tragedy, the glory of a winner, the despair of a looser---It’s a lot of things.
Theres' a billion things I wish it wasn’t.
But there will always be those things about it that keeps me coming back for more---
Like...
A chance to reach out to an unlikely audience...Fuel and fire to try and be something a little closer to extraordinary every time voice touches the mike.
A good slam forces even the laziest listener to pay attention for 3 minutes.
A GREAT slam forces even the most competitive, self-absorbed poets to pay attention for 3 minutes.
Three minutes...never feels like enough.
But If your poem is written just right and your performance hits a next level that hints of truth…
The moment is yours.
It’s a feeling I’ll have to attempt to explain on another day.
These days I find myself slamming only to qualify for a Nationals team.
But whatever my reasons are...
I choose to slam.
I take it for what it is.
I take it for what it seems to do for me.
It breaks me down sometimes and occasionally builds me back up.
It pushes me to take performance and poetry into another nexus.
It forces me to be brave and inspires me to relive my motivation for why I created the poem in the first place…
Hope to see you @ the Finals!